Overheard in the Nauhaus

I’ll let you guess who said what.

 

“Yes, Emmett, we all have butts.”

I Give You, This.

Since James keeps sending me gems like these, I’m going to keep on posting them.  I mean, if it’s not broke, don’t fix it, amirite?

 

Emmett had a pretty good morning, except for when he invented the worst fucking game ever.

James is Mr. Mom

James has been doing his best Michael Keaton impersonation these days, for which I am eternally grateful.  Not only does it allow us to save some money during the summer months when we don’t have to pay for out-of-home daycare, but it also allows me to receive emails such as these (reproduced below, in its entirety) in the middle of my work day.  I have to admit to laughing while reading this, all with a sort of smug grin on my face for no other reason than if you haven’t experienced something like this for yourself (and I can guarantee anyone who has cared for a toddler has), it’s hard to fully sympathize with events such as these.  That being said, with James’ storytelling abilities, you can almost smell the grilled cheese cooking…

So That Happened.

Overheard in the women’s clothing section at Target:

20-something #1: “UGH, are we in the old lady section?”

20-something #2: “No, we’re still in the regular clothing section–why?”

20-something #1: “Because look at these shorts!!  They’re soooooo long!  They’d almost reach my knees! Who wears these?”

Aaaand that’s how today I was reminded that I’m old, as I slyly put the shorts back on the rack.

“Single” Parenting Gold Star

So, I’m not really a single parent in the truest sense of the word, but James is working overseas for two-and-a-half weeks so I’m the lone Emmett wrangler.  And it’s hard.  And I’m exhausted. And I have eaten cheerios for dinner two nights in a row.  But I also have help.  And Emmett is an amazing, mellow, kid.  All of those out there who do this without a full-time partner, I salute you.  And am sending you a bottle of your favorite adult beverage.

A while ago, I mentioned my ability (er, need) to take super quick showers so that Emmett doesn’t start trying to comb his hair with the toilet brush.  I usually try to distract him with books and maybe a bowl of fruit, but lately that hasn’t been holding his attention.  A little box in our linen closet has managed to capture his imagination, though.  Anyone else’s toddler son super into tampons?  No?  Just E?  Awesome.